Twisted Writer
by Starskysea
Summary: A twisted writer takes control of the Sohma's destinies. Things are gonna get HOT! R
1. Chapter 1

**Hello! This is another story. You'll figure it out…! Possible OOC-ness, do not kill me! R&R!**

At the edge of an undeveloped idea, in the margin of an empty page, between two incoherent thoughts of a giant mind, a voice rose out of the nothingness.

The voice spoke from the depths of unconsciousness and against all odds and laws of nature; it emerged out of the unbearable silence to speak a solitary word. Three words, in fact.

"What. The. Hell?"

The voice, heavy with outrage, broke this mysterious silence with a large splash and made ripples of unease on its still surface, which in turn gave birth to more ripples, which allowed for a second voice to utter:

"I fully agree with you"

"I really wish we could see each other", said another voice, clearly feminine, with a hint of fear but filled with a remarkable determination.

"If the damn rat is here too, then I hope it stays dark forever!!" Snapped an angry voice, uneasy despite the passion in its tone.

"Oh, don't say that Kyo-kun!!" The female voice implored worriedly.

"I don't mind not-seeing your ugly face, cat! Anyway, I could kick you so hard you'd stop feeling your ass, even in this darkness", a steady voice said with just a hint of menace.

"Please, please don't fight! Not here, not now! The female voice pleaded, now positively panicking.

A suppressed groan, a small sigh. And finally:

"Ok, I'll wait. But the stupid rat has no idea what's in store for him!"

"Glad we've figured that out! But now that your childish games are over, wouldn't it be better if we all figured out where we are so that I can get away from here as fast as possible?" Another voice had entered the conversation, its tone patronizing and condescending.

"Hiro-chan, you're here too!!" A child's voice exclaimed, full of relief mingled with joy.

"KISA!" Somebody gasped.

Then:

"I wonder if the other Juunishi are here too…"", someone wondered, and everybody seemed to freeze. Because if the others were all there, then Akito wasn't too far away either.

"Rin-san?" The female voice asked tentatively.

"What do you want?" Snapped another female voice, obviously belonging to a pissed-off Rin.

Then, from somewhere in the yet undetermined space came a large bang. Somebody could be heard falling on the ground. Another bang. A scream, then soft whining.

"Why did he have to HIT me…?"

"Momiji-kun??" The first female voice asked with hope.

"TOHRU!!"

"Onee-chan?"

"Tohru, Kyo HIT me, he hit me because I bumped into him, but you see, it wasn't my fault, it's dark, how could I know, but Tohru, nobody else would have hit me, it's just Kyo, he's meaaaaan…!!" A voice rambled on.

"Shut up, you stupid rabbit! You had no business walking around and bumping into people like that, why can't you sit still for a minute!" Yelled another voice angrily.

"Are all the Juunishi here??" The female voice said, addressing herself to the people in the dark room.

"Well, it was nice of you to ask, my beautiful little flower", answered a seductive male voice.

"I'm here, Tohru."

"Me too, Onee-chan."

"PRESENT!! X3"

"Wherever my dear Gure is, there shall I also be, forever. But where is my beloved Yuki??"

"I'm here, but please stop hugging me!"

"KYO! Kyo where are you?? I can't see you anywhere, Kyo…"

"EH!! Stay away from me!! Don't come near me!"

"Is-isn't Akito-san here too?" Asked the female voice slowly.

There was no answer.

"Does that mean my beloved Akito isn't here?" Said a male voice.

"Seems like it", replied another one.

"Oh! Ritsu and Kureno haven't said anything yet!!"

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry for not talking before, I'm sorry I made you worry, really, I should have said something, I apologize…" poke gasp faint

"I'm here, Tohru, but I don't know where Akito is."

"IS he here?"

"I dunno."

"Hope he isn't…"

"SHHHHH, don't say that!! What if he IS here and hears you?"

"I don't care; I just want to get outta here!"

A collective scuffle started, as everybody began walking around trying to get a notion of their surroundings.

Finally, somebody pulled something with a rustle and a bright light swarmed into what seemed to be a large, empty white room, crowded with people. Fourteen people, to be exact.

"KYYYOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!" Yelled Kagura and launched herself at Kyo, who ducked only seconds too late and found himself crumpled up in her violent embrace.

"Onee-chan", said Kisa, walking up to her big sister, who hugged her immediately. Ayame and Shigure were already glued together, whispering something into each-others ears. Haru stood aside, observing the scene calmly, Rin was sitting in a corner, looking down at her boots, Hiro was standing a few steps beside Kisa, looking at Tohru with envy, Ritsu was saying something to Kureno, who was looking off into the distance, Momiji was trying to climb onto Hatori's back and Kyo, who had managed to push Kagura away was glaring at Yuki, who was holding back a piece of dark velvet that had been covering a large window and looking outside.

After a while, everybody turned towards the window, and stared out, into the bright light.

"Where are we…?" Asked Tohru softly.

Nobody answered, because nobody knew.

And suddenly…

_Tohru was walking through the corridors of the main house, looking around carefully, frightened, but also very brave. She was going to see her beloved Akito, and her step-momma, Ren-san. She couldn't wait!! But she had to be careful, because the demons were there: beings half-beast half-man, lurking in the shadows ready to grab her and eat her alive. _

_There were so many of them. Thirteen, in fact! All monstrous, horrible to behold, and evil to the core…_

_Lucky Akito was there to protect her!_

Tohru found herself once again in the large white room, everybody staring at her.

"W-w-what happened?? Where was I?" she asked with surprise and confusion.

She wasn't the only one to ask herself that. A commotion started, everybody trying to figure out an answer, when all of a sudden a voice rose from the depths of time and space, to fill their minds like an intruder, and speak words that chilled them to the marrow of their bone.

"_Well…THAT story was kinda boring. I have no ideas. Fuck. HEY! I know, I'll write something about Yuki and Akito next…maybe one of those angsty fics. Or maybe I can make some Akigure lemon. Or something OC-ish. GAWD! Maybe next time…_"

"A-Akigure?" Shigure mumbled, clearly startled.

"Angsty fic…?" Frowned Yuki, trying to figure it out.

"WRITE?" Yelped Ayame. "That…thing is gonna write something about us."

"Write about US?" Tohru gasped, shock mingling with the obvious confusion on her face.

"Tohru, where were you just then?" Kyo asked, looking at Tohru with meaning.

"I don't know! Oh but it felt so strange and here was Akito…and I LIKED Akito, and you, I hated all of you…"

Tohru started crying. "What's happening to me??" she sobbed, looking at the others. "I'm going mad, right, crazy, I'm seeing visions…"

Then, Shigure said with a small sigh.

"I think it's pretty obvious now. Our destinies are in the hands of another writer!"

Hushed whispers, gasps and moans of all sorts ran around the room.

"D-d-does that mean we don't belong to Natsuki Takaya anymore…?" Murmured Kisa, looking around with big eyes.

"Don't worry, Kisa: I will protect you", Hiro reassured her, putting an arm around the young girls shoulders.

"This didn't feel at all like with Natsuki-chan!" Said Tohru trembling. "With her, it felt RIGHT! Like it was supposed to be the way it was…Not like…"

She shuddered.

"Only one possibility here", reflected Shigure. "Our destinies are in the hands of a TWISTED writer…"

That's when everybody was submerged by a wave of sheer desperation.

In the hands of a twisted writer, anything was possible…

ANYTHING!


	2. Chapter 2

**My descriptions have gone out of control! WHOOT! More craziness and zaniness and utter brainlessness in store!**

Well, once they got over the shock, they all locked hands and bent their heads together to discuss their worries. There was no time, in this critical state, to uphold old feuds and enemities.

Some people weren't liking that at all…

"I am NOT touching the stupid rat! Hollered a pissed-off Kyo pushing his hands as deeply into his pockets as they could go.

"Kyonkichi, don't be so immature. On the other hand, if you don't want to take Yun's hand, why don't you hold mine…?" Shigure reached out an excited hand which made Kyo cringe in fear.

"No, Gure-nii, that's not the way to tackle him…" Whispered a conspiratory Ayame to his bestest pal and nighttime chummy. "Now if we had some rope and a large leather recliner, then…"

"And whips! We simply NEED whips!" Added a gleeful Shigure with twinkling eyes.

"HELP!" Yelped Kyo jumping on the curtains and hanging on for his dear life.

"You can hold _my_ hand, Kyo-kun" Offered Tohru with a large, harmless smile.

"And I'm gonna hold your other hand, eh love?" Stated Kagura with a strange gleam in her eyes. "Now get down from those curtains, kitty!" She continued, pulling at the waistband of his jeans and revealing half of his but-crack. The humiliated cat immediately let go off the curtains to push Kagura's wandering hands away, resulting in a very unpleasant fall on top of her.

Now everyone was thinking about what a wonderful couple those two made, except for maybe Tohru who was wearing an utterly shocked expression on her lovely face, and Shigure, who was at the time thinking of making Kyo 'his own'.

But the critical state remained in everyone's mind, and soon the Juunishi and their female guest had assembled in a rough circle, with each person positioned along the wall as far away from the others as was possible in the steadily shrinking room (at least, to their crazed and confused minds).

"Herefore I declare myself main and chief leader of this sacred group for the protection of our peace and sanity in the _measures of the possible_" announced Shigure throwing a pointed glance at Kyo.

"Whatever, dog-breath" mumbled Kyo, looking away and reddening considerably.

"Kyo is a _troublemaker_" Momiji piped in, grinning at Kyo.

At the news, some of the most innocent Juunishi 'ooohed' and 'aaahed', whilst Shigure merely smirked.

"Kyo is my very own and personal troublemaker, aren't you, Kiki?"

Everybody sat and thought about it for a minute, trying to figure out in what exact _sense_ Kyo could be Shigure's troublemaker. Some, such as, for example, Ritsu, thought that Kyo broke walls a lot. Others, in this case Ayame, considered the deeper meanings of the word 'trouble'. Most just thought Shigure was acting delirious, as per usual.

Finally though, the minute of silence ended, everyone coming out of their reflexive stupor with clearer minds much more apt for calm deliberation.

The circle reformed, the most reluctant wearing oven mittens to avoid any unnecessary contact with those lesser loved and appreciated.

After everyone had settled conveniently in the various seats-- some pillows, a few wooden chairs, a throne, a sofa and a very comfortable-looking leather recliner -- having appeared out of some parallel dimension at the wishes of the 'sitter', a composed chatter erupted from an unidentified mouth and rekindle the flame of small-talk, lost until then in the bellows of quarrelsome talk.

All of a sudden, a voice overpowered the rest, reviving the gist of 'dominative talk' lost to us all for a good two minutes (the time small talk had consumed the Juunishi's lives).

And quite a forlorn thing it was that this voice turned out to be…Hiro's! Maybe not so forlorn after all, knowing Hiro for the bossy know-it-all who he really was in his intimacy and sometimes out of it as well.

"Juunishi!" he yelled, the cry followed by some miffed remarks by a few people who had _not_ forgotten that there was in fact an un-cursed girl in the audience—well, trust Hiro to omit that fact.

"What do I care about that whiney-loony muttered Hiro before resuming his so far unwelcome speech. "As you can see, we are in a very unpleasant situation, as –that stupid sob- Tohru has shown us--" 'HA!' some people couldn't help exclaiming, 'can't avoid noticing her _now_' whilst others, indignant, called on justice to explain the use of unflattering words towards Tohru's person.

"…as I was saying, _pretty_ (which came out in a rather spiteful hiss, but which managed to satisfy most of the previously indignant listeners—although not all, judging by Kyo's red face and clenched fists) Tohru sowed us by her quite unconvincing vanishing act and _truly_ unwanted return—"

An angry murmur filled the hall, and all, as one, lifted their fists, chanting away with their eyes ablaze with rage: 'TOHRU! TOHRU! OUR! GODDESS! HIRO! _STINKS_!'

Blushing, Hiro closed his mouth and lowered his head.

"Ok, ok, I haven't said anything!" he whined before going to sulk in a corner.

"Happy we sorted _that_ out" The others all said together, before coming out of their alien-controlled state.

"We need to elect a new leader" said an obviously confused person whom we prefer to keep unidentified for now. Many opposed that idea, for both past leaders had turned out to be very, _very_ un-leaderish people. And anyway, the audience had had enough of leaders right then and there.

Sadly though, after the rejection of that proposition, there wasn't much time left for new ideas, because suddenly…Kyo disappeared.

_Kyo was walking through a corridor when he suddenly saw his mother standing there and kissing his Ren Sohma passionately. _

'_We need to keep our lesbian relationship secret' she whispered whilst stroking Ren's hair._

'_Wait a sec, I need to apply more lipstick' answered a clearly distracted Ren, looking at herself in a mirror she was holding in her hand. 'Yes dear, what are you saying?' she asked Kyo's mother, still not looking at the now desperate lady._

'_O-our…rel-lationship' stuttered Kyo's mother, looking at Ren with a wild expression in her eyes._

'_What are you talking about, hun? I'm going after Hatori now. Didn't you see the look he gave me at the new-year party? SEXXXY!'_

_That's when Kyo's mom committed suicide right before Kyo's eyes, while Ren, oblivious, clipped her toenails and daydreamed about our favorite seahorse…_

Kyo emerged out of the disturbing…story with a thoughtful look on his face.

"Hmm…I never thought Ren actually clipped her toenails…" he said, scratching his head. "The surprises you get while being a Juunishi. WHAT?" He asked, looking at his companions for the first time.

"Where have you been?" They all screeched, while Ayame was covering his face with a pillow and moaning "The twisted writer strikes again…!"

And terror filled their hearts, for there was no escaping it anymore!

In the hands of a twisted writer, anything was possible…

ANYTHING!


End file.
